Teen Dating Violence: What Parents Need to Know
Teen dating violence (TDV) is a growing concern that many parents don’t realize is happening until it’s too late. 1 in 3 teens experience dating abuse yet only 33% tell anyone. Abuse doesn’t always start with physical violence—it often begins with subtle signs of control, manipulation and emotional abuse.
As a parent, you play a critical role in recognizing warning signs and guiding your teen toward safe and healthy relationships. But would you know what to look for?
The Reality of Teen Dating Violence
Teen dating violence is more than just physical harm—it includes emotional, psychological, digital, financial and sexual abuse. It often starts with small red flags that escalate over time.
Some shocking statistics on teen dating violence:
📊 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S. experience some form of dating abuse.
📊 1 in 4 male high school students have been physically or emotionally abused by a partner.
📊 LGBTQ+ teens are more likely to experience dating violence than their heterosexual peers.
📊 Girls aged 16-24 experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence.
With the rise of technology and social media, digital abuse—including excessive monitoring, controlling online activity and demanding passwords—has become more common among teens.
Signs Your Teen May Be in an Unhealthy Relationship
🚨 Behavioral Changes:
- Withdrawal from friends, family or activities they once enjoyed
- Becomes secretive about their relationship or defensive when asked about it
- Has an unexplained drop in grades or interest in school
🚨 Emotional Changes:
- Shows signs of low self-esteem, anxiety or depression
- Seems fearful or anxious about upsetting their partner
- Apologizes excessively for things that aren’t their fault
🚨 Signs of Control or Abuse:
- Receives excessive texts or calls from their partner, often checking in on them
- Their partner dictates who they can see, what they wear or what they do
- You notice physical injuries they try to downplay or explain away
How to Talk to Your Teen About Healthy Relationships
Starting conversations about healthy relationships early can prevent your teen from falling into patterns of dating abuse. Here’s how you can guide them:
✅ Open the Door to Conversations: Instead of lecturing, ask open-ended questions like:
- “What do you think makes a relationship healthy?”
- “How do your friends define a good relationship?”
✅ Model Healthy Relationships: Show them through your own relationships what respect, trust and healthy communication look like.
✅ Teach Red & Green Flags: Help them understand that love should never involve control, fear or manipulation.
✅ Let Them Know You’re a Safe Space: Make sure they know they can talk to you without fear of judgment.
Final Thoughts
As parents, we can’t always control who our children date but we can equip them with the knowledge and confidence to recognize when something isn’t right. Early intervention can make a life-changing difference.
If you suspect your teen is in an unhealthy relationship, encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, school counselor or a professional. They don’t have to go through this alone.