Grieving During the Holidays: Why This Season Can Feel So Heavy
“Happy holidays” is a well-meaning phrase that fills cards, commercials and conversations this time of year. But for many people, the holiday season brings waves of grief, often accompanied by a varying mix of emotions.
The absence of a loved one can feel especially pronounced during holiday traditions and family gatherings and often moments meant to feel joyful, feel bittersweet. For those who are grieving, this season can be both emotionally overwhelming and isolating.
According to Dr. Allison Golden, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Director of Behavioral Health Services at the Jeff Masarek Behavioral Health Center of Goodman JFS, there is no single “right” way to grieve, especially during the holidays.
“As long as someone isn’t causing harm to themselves or others, emotionally, physically or functionally, their grief process is valid,” Dr. Golden explains.
Common Myths About Grief, Debunked
One of the most persistent misconceptions about grief is the belief that it follows a neat, predictable path.
Myth: There Are Five Stages of Grief and Then It’s Over
Dr. Golden notes that the widely referenced “five stages of grief” model is often misunderstood and inappropriate.
“We don’t move through stages. We work through tasks, and grief is a lifelong journey,” she says.
Instead, Dr. Golden points to the work of psychologist Dr. William Worden, who identified four tasks of grief:
- Accepting the reality of the loss
- Experiencing the pain of grief
- Adjusting to an environment where the loved one is missing
- Finding an enduring connection with the deceased while continuing to live
These tasks don’t follow a linear timeline and may resurface throughout life, particularly during emotionally charged times of year, such as the holidays.
Other Common Grief Myths
- There is a “right” way to grieve
- Grief has a fixed timeline
- Sadness is the only emotion associated with grief
In reality, grief can include anger, guilt, relief, confusion, gratitude and moments of joy, separately, and sometimes all at once.
Practical Ways to Care for Yourself While Grieving
Grief affects emotional, physical and mental well-being. Dr. Golden encourages people to focus on foundational self-care, self-compassion, and connection, especially during the holidays.
Lean on Your Support System
Grief is not meant to be experienced alone. Support can come in different forms, including emotional support and practical help. Finding and using your village matters.
Prioritize Well-Being
Engaging in healthy routines becomes even more important during holiday related grief, including:
- Consistent sleep
- Nourishing meals
- Gentle movement or exercise
- Stress reduction and coping strategies
- Self-compassion and patience with yourself
Dr. Golden also advises that it may also be helpful to think of ways you can incorporate old traditions shared with loved ones into your holiday celebrations, and/or create new ones in their memory.
Know When to Seek Additional Support
Sometimes grief requires more than informal support. This may include:
- Peer groups with others who are grieving
- Individual therapy with a licensed mental health professional
If you notice that you, or a grieving loved one, are “stuck” in working through the grief tasks, and/or are engaging in harmful or unhealthy coping skills, Dr. Golden recommends seeking additional support. Recognizing when you need extra help, and reaching out for it, is a sign of strength, not failure.
How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving
Supporting a grieving friend, family member or colleague can feel uncomfortable, but your presence matters more than perfect words.
Dr. Golden offers these compassionate suggestions:
- Be present. Show up. This may mean sitting with them and simply listening with attention and compassion, or it may mean sending a simple emoji or brief message that lets them know you’re thinking of them.
- Offer specific, concrete help instead of saying “let me know if you need anything.”
- Ask about their loved one and make space for stories and memories to be shared. You can also share your memories of their loved one with them.
- Share community resources that may support them through their grief journey.
Free Bereavement Support in Broward County
Goodman Jewish Family Services offers free virtual bereavement support groups for Broward County residents through the Jeff Masarek Behavioral Health Center.
Virtual Bereavement Support Groups
- Format: Free 8-week structured groups via Zoom
- Led by: JMBHC clinical staff
- Schedule: Wednesdays, 6:00–7:00 pm
- Cohorts: New group begins every 9 weeks
- Eligibility: Open to any Broward County resident who has experienced the death of a loved one
These groups provide education, coping strategies and a supportive environment for connection and healing.
You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone
Grief can feel heavier during the holidays, but support is available. Whether you are grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, compassionate care and community connection can make a meaningful difference.
To learn more about bereavement services or behavioral health support at Goodman JFS, visit www.jfsbroward.org/services/behavioral-health/.